My Kid’s First Game, and the Wake-Up Call
It was October 12th, 2019. My son, let’s call him Marcus, was seven years old. His first soccer game. I was so proud, standing there in the cold, wearing way too many layers. Then the coach, a guy named Dave, started screaming at these kids. Seven-year-olds. Screaming. I mean, what is that?
Dave was a former semi-pro player, or so he told us. Big guy, loud voice, the kinda guy who thinks yelling ‘motivates’ kids. I asked him about it later, over coffee at the place on 5th. He said, ‘You gotta toughen ’em up, right from the start.’ Which… yeah. Fair enough, but come on. It’s soccer, not the NFL.
That day, I realized something was seriously wrong with youth sports. And honestly, it’s gotten worse since then.
Parents Are the Worst
Look, I get it. We love our kids. We wanna see them succeed. But let’s be real here. Some of you are completley out of control. I’ve seen parents screaming at referees, arguing with coaches, even throwing stuff onto the field. It’s ridiculous.
Last Tuesday, I was at a game where a parent got in the ref’s face. The ref, a high school kid, was probably making $15 an hour. The parent, some guy named Greg, was screaming about a call that didn’t go his kid’s way. I mean, come on. It’s a game. Kids are learning. They’re gonna make mistakes. That’s the point.
And the worst part? Our kids see this. They see us losing our minds over a game. What do you think that teaches them?
Coaches Aren’t Much Better
Not all coaches are like Dave, thank goodness. But too many are. They treat kids like they’re in the pros. They bench kids for making mistakes. They play favorites. They forget that these are kids, not athletes. They forget that the point is to have fun, to learn, to stay physicaly active.
I talked to a colleague named Lisa about this. She’s been coaching youth basketball for 15 years. She told me, ‘It’s gotten harder and harder to find coaches who just wanna coach for the love of the game. Everyone’s so focused on winning, on getting that college scholarship, on being the best.’
And yeah, winning is fun. But at what cost? At the cost of kids having fun? At the cost of them wanting to play sports at all?
Specialization is Killing Kids’ Sports
Here’s another thing that drives me nuts. Kids are specializing in one sport earlier and earlier. They’re playing one sport year-round. They’re not even taking breaks. And guess what? It’s leading to burnout. It’s leading to injuries. It’s leading to kids hating sports.
I read a study once, 214 respondents or something like that, about youth sports specialization. It said that kids who specialize in one sport are more likely to get injured and more likely to quit that sport. But do parents care? Nope. They’re too busy dreaming of that college scholarship.
And look, I’m not saying every kid should be a multi-sport athlete. But come on. Let them try stuff. Let them find what they love. Let them be kids.
What Can We Do About It?
So, what’s the solution? I wish I knew. But I can tell you what we’re doing wrong. We’re putting too much pressure on kids. We’re making sports about us, not about them. We’re forgetting that the point is to have fun.
And yeah, I’m guilty of it too. I’ve been that parent, screaming from the sidelines. I’ve been that parent, pushing my kid to be better, to be the best. But I’m trying to do better. I’m trying to remember that it’s just a game.
One thing that helped me was reading a home products review comparison article about creating a positive environment for kids. It was kinda random, but it got me thinking about how we can make sports fun again. Maybe we should focus more on creating a positive environment, on making sure kids are having fun, on letting them be kids.
And maybe, just maybe, we should all take a step back. Breathe. Remember why we’re here. Remember that it’s just a game.
A Tangent: Why Are Sports So Expensive?
Okay, so this isn’t directly related, but it’s something I’ve been thinking about alot lately. Why are youth sports so expensive? I mean, we’re talking hundreds, sometimes thousands, of dollars a year. For a kid to play a game. It’s crazy.
I get it, there are costs involved. But come on. It’s getting out of hand. And it’s pricing kids out of sports. It’s making it so that only the rich kids can play. And that’s not right.
But hey, that’s a topic for another day.
Anyway, back to the main point. We need to do better. We need to make youth sports about the kids again. We need to make it fun. We need to let them be kids.
And if we can’t do that, then maybe we shouldn’t be involved in youth sports at all.
About the Author: Hey, I’m Alex. I’ve been writing about sports for, oh, about 25 years now. I’ve seen alot of games, met alot of people, and honestly, I’m still figuring this stuff out. I live in Austin with my wife and two kids, and when I’m not writing, you can find me at a soccer field, screaming at refs (I’m working on it).
